The Blob

Okay, okay… I know I haven’t been faithful in posting on this blog. Recently, my co-worker Marvis reminded me that it had been more than a week since I had posted my last entry. Marvis is a sweet lady and when you meet her, it would be hard to imagine that she works at a prison. One thing, though, she doesn’t let those guys that are in her class buffalo her. She might be sweet & gentle but she is tough when she needs to be.

Back to why I haven’t been writing on here. I honestly just haven’t had the time to sit down and do it. My world has become consumed with my college classes. Every spare moment has gone towards that, much to the consternation of my brother Reno. It seems I’m on the computer even more now than I ever was before. Yet… This has been an awesome experience so far! I’m finding that I thirst and love the knowledge I am receiving. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I have got on the class page and been disappointed because there was nothing new to comment on!

I’ve been having a few problems with one of my instructors but by the whole, I have been really enjoying the class. It is challenging me. That is something that I have definitely been missing. My life had become mundane and repetitive. Nothing really “moved” me. This is making me focus and become more honed. Even my thinking has become sharper and clearer. It is almost like waking up from a long sleep. I absolutely love the subject materials as well. Of course, it seems like I’ve always been drawn to the legal system and “cop” shows.

When I sit down and consider why that is, I can only conclude it was because there wasn’t much “justice” done in my growing years. My mom was married to a man for sixteen years that for every intent and purpose was a criminal that never got caught.Through the years, I watched as he conned one person after another out of their money, including my grandmother. He used whomever he could to attain what he wanted, including us. I won’t even go into all the illegal activities he was involved in before he married my mother. He was an ex-Vietnam veteran that had gone overseas a clean-cut, good ol’ cowboy to return as a lunatic out for himself with a chip the size of Texas on his shoulder. He was extremely intelligent (brilliant really – his son, my brother, inherited that) but also cunning & brutal. He was highly abusive to my mother and mentally tortured all of us. It was like living in a glittery portion of hell growing up. To the outside world, we appeared to have everything. Money. Power. Anything we could we wanted, we got (except sanity.) What was not seen was the madness inside.

When I was saved, I was able to finally forgive him for everything he did. I even wrote him a letter once telling him that very thing. I also thanked him. While it was insane in that house, I did gain a whole lot of good things from the experience. First, I am 10 times smarter than I would have been had he not been an influence in my life. The fact of the matter is that if you didn’t run on 100% capacity with him, you were going to be eaten alive! Second, he was a great man of culture. He was always taking us to one museum, play, ballet, or other thing after another. We went all over Texas & Oklahoma for this event or that event. Third, I got to see more of the USA than a lot of people. Every spring & summer we would go to Galveston and/or Corpus Christi. It is here that I earned my love for the ocean. Fourth, I gained a great awareness of motives & observation. This has been a great asset since working in the prison system. It helps to understand what goes through the criminal mind. Fifth, I learned survival skills. If things go south, I know what I need to know to survive. Finally, sixth, I gained a great desire to see justice fulfilled.

The sixth reason is why I believe that I have always been drawn to the criminal field.It is my desire that justice be served. The reality is that justice is not always served.I do my part to add to that but with the fall of man and all our fallacies, injustice is just as much a part of living as justice. I can recognize that ultimately that it is God that measures out justice. If I was not to see that perspective, I could quickly become depressed by all the injustice that I see in the prison alone. Men that should have longer sentences are out in a matter of years while others that make one bad choice (and are not likely to ever repeat them again) are in here for hideously long sentences. It could make a person crazy. I have to wonder how those that do not have Christ within them and guiding them make it through the day without succumbing to depression.

Thank the Lord that in the end, He is in control of it all.

I can tell that the Lord is working in my life again. Humbling me further. I need that. I can be a very arrogant and conceited person most of the time. He is often having to snap me back.


I’ve been greatly backsliding in my diet and exercise routine. I love the Wii but it really hurts my feet and I’m always having to be so careful with my back. Until I lose about 100lbs and build up muscle around my lower back, I am limited with what I can do. I have no desire to spend another 3 days in the hospital and then 6-8 months in recuperation. Well there is a Water Aerobics class from 6:00 am – 6:45 am on Tuesdays & Thursdays. While this is before I start work, there isn’t enough time after the class for me to get changed and across town into work on time. Lately I’ve been feeling completely hopeless with my weight and when I look in the mirror I see “The Blob” – literally (much like this photo of Homer above.) So I’ve thought and thought about how to get around this problem and the only thing I can come up with is just doing the aerobics until 6:30 to 6:35. If I can get 30 minutes in, that is better than nothing at all.

I recognize that this is just another way that the Lord is chipping away my rough edges and get me on track. Thank the Lord for good friends at work and at home!!! Blessings to all of you!!