Open Doors

It is amazing to me how the Lord works sometimes.  It seems that when you're really looking hard for Him to move in some way that nothing seems to happen but the minute you are not looking or watching, something amazing happens!  That is the case today... Perhaps I will share what I mean at a later date but for now, I will hold my peace.

Lately I have been having a deep longing for a home of my own.  Now that my Dad has a job that works great for him and I'm no longer needed, it seems like I'm being forced out the door.

The ceiling in my room fell in on one corner a while back, seems as if Dad is grouchy almost every day and irritated with me, and my babies (God bless them) seem to be annoying everyone but me.  I've got a deep longing now to have my own place and my own space.  I need that.  I lived on my own for years and while I have been paying rent to my parents these last couple of years, I've never felt as if this was really my home.  There is some sadness for me, though, in this new desire.

When I packed up my apartment two or three years ago (I can't remember right now when I moved in!), I did not expect to leave my parents house until I was married.  So I carefully chose what to keep and what to chunk. All in mind that when I opened those boxes that would have everything a newly married couple needed in them, that I would be unpacking them with my new husband.  I could even envision this man looking in and laughing at this or that.  I really felt that living with my family would be training time in getting me ready to live with someone else after having been living alone for more than 10 years.

So it is sad for me now that I'm beginning to seriously think about leaving after all these years that this won't be the reality.  Yet... I do feel as if the time for major change is upon me.

Something else that struck me today is that I believe that I've finally put down roots in this community.  Now that I have two wonderful friends in Tuesday and Tawnya, I don't feel the need any longer to go chasing after some distant horizon.  I feel as if I should just stick around Clarinda indefinitely.  I was just telling Tuesday that when I think about the future, such as getting married or having children, I see her and Tawnya there sharing in those moments.  This was part of the message at the recent After 5 dinner I went to and I instantly thought of these two special ladies who are not just friends but also sisters.

So doors open... Others close... The Lord Jesus is in charge.  Praise be to the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit!



These photos are of me & Tawnya (white shirt) & Tuesday (red shirt).